Learning to Forgive
by Headspace for Rent
Summary: We all have issues we need to deal with. Dani the Zeltron needs to face her personal demon. Characters from old Marvel SW comic line


After Dani programmed her ship into synchronous orbit around the planet Nagi, she sent a communication to the surface, asking permission to land. Part of her couldn't believe she was here; that she had flown all this way, and she was trying to talk to Den after all this time. Her friends had advised against it. Several told her it was insane, that she needed to let go of the remnants of events twenty years past. Dani thought she had put it all behind her, until recently. Memories kept surfacing, unbidden, twisting through her mind just under the surface. When she dared to speak of it to her dear friend Tara, the Jedi told her that it sounded like unresolved guilt and that she should deal with it. Guilty for what, she had asked, but she knew: about Kintooine, and about Kiro, who had chosen to allow Dani to think he was dead instead of being honest with her. And, of course, about Den Siva, whom she had hated and blamed, perhaps without justification.

It had taken a _lot_ of therapy to process the events that involved Den, to realize that it hadn't been personal, at first, until he had fallen in love with her…_that_ Den Siva. The man had thrown his career away and cut himself off from his people to prevent Dani's death at the hands of the Tof. He tried so hard to atone for his sins on Kintooine, had put himself in harm's way repeatedly for her, and had followed her without question, doing whatever humiliating things Dani could think of. And she _had_ humiliated the Nagai, tried to make him pay for her pain. The things Den had subjected her to had changed her; but for the longest time, Dani didn't realize she had also changed him.

Den had been instrumental in forging peace between the Alliance and Nagai high command during and after the Tof invasion. Rumor had it after Dani had driven him off, he had returned to his people when they left the galaxy in order to free their world and wage war on the Tofs, and that he had redeemed himself during the liberation of Nagi. Rumors also said Den was working on Nagi as an ambassador to the New Republic. Now, Dani needed forgiveness to heal. She needed to forgive herself, and she needed to forgive Den Siva or else be eaten alive from the inside.

The traffic controller gave Dani coordinates to land at Kotokai, the capital city, where the central government was located and she could find the New Republic Embassy. It was her best bet for tracking down Den. She rented a landspeeder, took a drive around. She knew that most of the cities had been razed during the Tof occupation, but she was hard pressed to tell. Gleaming structures of glass and steel towered in the protected valley, there was no visible damage. People crowded the streets, civilians going about their daily lives. Some gave her curious looks as she passed. Dani identified the Embassy without problem; it was a square building that seemed a bit out of place among the slim architecture of the Nagai. Dani parked, went inside. There was a security presence in here, but Dani detected no overt displays of authority. A young human male sat at a desk watching the monitors. He had a friendly, open expression.

"Can I help you?" he said in Basic.

"I hope so. I'm trying to find Den Siva. Is he in?"

"Let me check." The aide tapped a stylus on his compadd. "Ambassador Siva is off duty right now. I can schedule an appointment for you. He has an opening in two days, at eleven local time."

Dani hesitated. Maybe this was a bad idea, and she should just turn around and go home. No, she'd come a long way, and she had to see this through. Dani hated to pull rank, but if she waited she might lose her nerve. She showed her Republic credentials to him, and turned on the charm. Zeltrons could be very convincing if they chose.

"Look, it's really important. Is there a way I can get in contact with him tonight? It's official business."

The aide took her identification, swiped it through the padd, checked her information, drummed his fingers.

"I could get fired for this, but…" and he gave her a long set of directions. "You didn't hear this from me."

"Thanks, sweetie." Dani gave him her best smile.

She followed the directions out of the sprawl of Kotokai proper and into a suburban area filled with small, yet distinct dwellings. She parked the speeder, got out, went to the door. Dani took a deep breath then knocked. I can't believe I'm doing this, she thought. The door opened, and the occupant looked out. He wore a black body suit typical to the Nagai. At first she thought it was Den, but this man was far too young, Den would be near fifty.

"Hello? Is Ambassador Siva at home? Oh sorry, do you speak Basic?"

"Yes," the youth regarded Dani, a bewildered expression on his features. He'd probably never seen a pink girl before. "Is he expecting you?"

"Not really. We're old…friends."

The youth shrugged, a gesture common to adolescents in all galaxies. "Whatever. Come in."

He went back inside, left the door open for Dani, and walked off, hopefully to notify Den she was there. Dani entered the cool dwelling, sat in one of the austere chairs. She looked at the decorations while she waited. There was no artwork on the walls. An extensive collection of edged weapons in a display case was in one corner, and what appeared to be a shrine in the other. Dani hadn't thought of Den as a religious man. She wondered if it was a recent addition to his personality. Several holographic projectors showed various images of Den with an elegant woman and children of varying ages, including the youth who had answered the door. Dani was shocked – he was married, he had a family, he had moved beyond needing her.

Ambassador Den Siva had aged well. His shaggy thick hair was streaked with a few grays, and there were wrinkles at the corners of his black eyes, but otherwise he looked the same. Dani stood up to greet him, after all these years. Den didn't say anything, he was too stunned.

"Hello, Den." _Awkward_. "I'm sorry to intrude, but I had to talk to you."

"It's been twenty years, Dani. Why are you here?" Den's voice was cold and sad.

"I needed to come here, to make amends. It's taken me a long time to process what happened between us, and to take responsibility for my actions towards you. I treated you terribly, Den. You tried so hard to apologize and redeem yourself in my eyes. You did everything I ever asked of you and I refused to accept that you weren't the same man who hurt me. I couldn't forgive you enough to see you had changed, for me. I had to talk you, let you know. I see it now. I hope you can accept my apology."

Den crossed his arms, and Dani worried that he would kick her out of his house, turn the years of venom back upon her and deny her of her healing. It would have been the Nagai thing to do: show no mercy to the enemy. Den didn't reply, but he didn't ask her to leave either. Dani reached out and touched Den's arm. "Den? Did you hear me? I hope we can move beyond this."

"I already have, Dani. I have a family and a life. What about you?"

Stupid Nagai. He still knew how to push her buttons, even after two decades.

"Let's forgive each other, Den." Dani offered her hand. Den stared at the proffered appendage, paused. Instead of shaking her hand, Den hugged her, and Dani didn't back away. She returned the gesture, unthinkable in the old days. For a minute, Dani wondered what her life would have been like if she had given the Nagai a chance, if she hadn't pushed Den away. It was too late now.

"Goodbye, Den. I'm glad I got to see you." She kissed Den on the cheek, wished him the best, and took her leave. It was a bittersweet encounter, but now Dani could fully heal, could move on and find her peace. She felt reborn.


End file.
